QQ心情短语物品中的励志正能量经典语录

QQ搞笑心情短语：物品中的励志正能量经典语录

牧羊，一辈子都在急；金牛，一辈子都在守；双子，一辈子都在徘徊；巨蟹，一辈子都在等；狮子，一辈子都在控制；，一辈子都在准备。

老婆是电视，情人是手机，在家看电视，出门带手机，破产卖电视，发财换手机，偶尔看电视，整天玩手机，电视终身不收费，手机欠费就停机。

骗子的太多了，你根本不知道自己被骗没被骗。

不要崇拜哥，不然你嫂子的眼神会让你变成传说；不要迷恋姐，只要你姐夫的脸就足够让你害怕了；不要爱上妹，她会让你的世界崩塌而不是憔悴。记住，不要忽略奶，她依旧像往常那样自信又坚强。大家新年快乐，让我们每天开心地生活下去吧！

一少女抱着猫去买鸡蛋，那个男摊主夸她的咪咪好大呀！她却没有任何回应，因为她知道自己的咪咪已经足够引起人们注意。而当那个南摊主再次夸赞她的咪咎时，她终于忍不住了：“再胡扯，我就捏碎你的蛋！”

天秤，一辈子都在权衡利弊；

天蝎，一辈子都是猜疑和复杂；

射手，每天只是享受生活；

摩羯，每一刻奋斗不息；

水瓶，有着永远的梦想；

双鱼，无论做什么，都不知所措。

7、明显的虚伪容易被识破，而深层次的贬义则难以防范。

8、大姐，请别以为多一点脂肪就可以少穿点衣服，这样北极熊还得担心冷吗？

9、如果你是一朵鲜花，那么即使牛也不敢靠近粪便。

10、厨房煤气泄漏了，不用慌张，就点支烟静下心来……

11、我虽然年轻，但我的价值早已过时。我忘记拿吸管回到店里，却发现我把饮料留给了那里的其他顾客。

12., my life has an A-side and a B-side, while your life has S- and B-sides.

13., I laugh at the sky with my sword drawn, then go to sleep.

14., Is your mother-in-law also your father's sister?

15., You're swimming in the pool with all sorts of strokes - frog, butterfly, backstroke - even impressively diving underwater! The old man on the shore is worried sick: you've drunk up the sewage pit and won't let us till the land!

16., Failure is not scary; it's just that success might be its mom.

17., Don't fear thieves who bring tools; worry more about those who understand technology!

18., I'm an angel, but can't return to heaven because of my weight issues.

19., Buying lottery tickets is like finding a wife - both involve choosing someone special.

20.. My entire youth was spent regretting being young; now I'll spend my whole life questioning existence itself.

21.. Let's not embark on long journeys; instead, let's fight each other first!

22.. Your phone costs less than calling someone does!

23.. As for me, I'm wandering through life as if cutting through thorns and killing dragons along riverside roads while climbing towers to wake up princesses for you.

24.. Flirting is like playing QQ games - chat for two hours daily until they become addicted to talking with you too much that they forget about their own lives' troubles or gain happiness from simply chatting with others without realizing it themselves when time flies by so quickly during these conversations

25,, don’t treat shrimp as seafoods in disguise.

26,, Wasn’t there something dropped when you were born? And didn’t we raise this baby fat instead?

27,, When alone gazing at the sky,

I’m not feeling lonely;

it’s just... hey,

28,. When we are outnumbered,

we test our courage;

when we are outvoted,

we test our tolerance.

29,. You’re neither 1 nor 3 but somehow still 2 & 8 combined into one number.

30,. Don't copy-paste from home computer contents onto work computer using Ctrl+C then Ctrl+V – no matter how expensive or high-tech any device may be!

31,, Please don’t cry at my grave after death;

you'll dirty the road of reincarnation.

32,, If possible learn Feng Shui later,

even after death occupy a good tomb space

to compensate for failing to afford a nice house in this lifetime.

33,, Nowadays college students lack civility! Come here fast!

They cut files instead of copying them!